The real inspiration behind this was a little plastic table-soccer man, who we named "Sauron" (as Lord of the Rings was all the rage at the time). Every time Sauron scored a goal, we cheered his name and it occurred to me that worshipping someone called Sauron was a bit unusual, given he was the bad guy in the story. Hence this was created...
My original warning: I have not intended any offense towards people of obscure religions, or hard core Lord of the Rings fans.
In the heart of the plains, in the county known as Middle Earth, stands the sparklingly glorious Church of Sauron. Overlord Harold (the church’s pastor) is hanging up this weeks bulletin notices, which include Only in Sauron will you find true power, and Cake sale this Tuesday.
At 3 o’clock every Monday morning, the congregation groggily stumbles to the service. Among the congregation are a mother and her two sons, an elderly couple, an obvious computer geek and a shabby man with his pet monkey. This church welcomes all, states a sign stuck in the grass, Whether you be young or old, human or elf, fat or skinny, good or evil.
The service starts with the ceremonial taking of the rings and throwing them into the fire. They are taken out again at the end. The congregation sits in very straight rows as they chant the monotonous incantation. At first it is a soft hum, but then grows until it is a thunderous roar. The power of Sauron is definitely felt in this place of worship.
After the mass is over the congregation enjoys cake and tea out the back. The conversation is mostly friendly chatter; a few people ask me whether I might be interested in converting. I explain that I had an enjoyable time at the service, but I am already a very dedicated agnostic. Their eyes glow red, but not much more is said on the matter.
